SETTLING IN AT NURSERY
A Gentle Start At Your Child's Pace
AS MANY SETTLING-IN SESSIONS
As Your Child NEEDS
Starting nursery is a big step for your child and for you. Settling in is how we make that step a gentle one. It’s a series of relaxed, short sessions, at your child’s own pace, so that by the time they start full attendance, the faces and routines already feel familiar.
Every child is different, so no two settling-in journeys look quite the same. Some children are ready in a few sessions. Others need a few weeks. Both are completely normal, and both are fine with us.
As part of the Tommies ‘Peace of Mind Promise’, we offer unlimited settling-in sessions. A child at Tommies will only ever have their first full day at nursery when we know your child is genuinely happy and settled.
Below you’ll learn how settling in works at Tommies, what the first days might look like, and how we help when it takes a little longer.
How Does Settling In Work at Tommies?
At Tommies, settling in works around your child, not around a timetable. Starting around a month before your child’s first full day, you’ll come in together for short visits that build up steadily while you take a gradual step back.
Settling-in sessions are always led by how your child is feeling. Their key person, the familiar adult who will get to know them best, is there from the very first visit, so there’s a friendly face from day one.
The 4 Steps to Settling in
The first days build up gently, one step at a time. There’s no single right way to do it, but most children follow a version of these four steps, moving on to the next only when they’re ready.
1
STEP 1:
First VISITS Together
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You and your child come in together for a short visit, so the nursery feels like somewhere you go as a pair before it becomes somewhere they go alone. You’ll meet the key person and settle into the room.
2
STEP 2:
Short Sessions
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Your child stays for a short spell without you. These first solo stretches are deliberately brief, so both the goodbye and reunion feel more manageable.
3
STEP 3:
BUILDING UP
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As your child grows more comfortable, sessions get a little longer and start to include parts of the day that matter, like snack, play, and perhaps even a nap, so the whole routine becomes familiar.
4
STEP 4:
FIRST FULL DAY
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By the time your child does a full day, the nursery already feels comfortable. Familiar faces, familiar room, familiar rhythm. The big first day will therefore feel like a smaller step than you expected.
How long does it take a child to settle in?
There’s no fixed answer, and any nursery that gives you one is guessing. Some children settle instantly or within a few visits. Others take a few weeks to feel fully at home. Age, temperament, and whether they’ve been in childcare before all play a part. What matters isn’t how quickly your child settles, but that they settle in a way that feels secure and lasts.
Your child’s key person watches closely and adapts as they go, easing off when your child is confident and offering more comfort when they need it. We’ll talk to you honestly about how it’s going, the good days (and the wobbly ones), so you always know where things stand.
"What if my child cries when I leave?
A child crying at drop-off is one of the hardest parts of starting nursery, and one of the most normal. It usually isn’t a sign your child is unhappy here. More often, it’s a sign they love you and are still learning that you always come back. For most children, the tears stop soon after you’re out of sight, and the day carries on happily.
When settling takes longer, we don’t leave you guessing. Your child’s key person will stay close through drop-off, settle them with a comfort from home, and let you know how they got on once you’ve left, so you’re not carrying the worry through your morning. And because we don’t limit settling sessions, there’s never any pressure to rush a child who needs more time.
If this is the part you’re worried about, come and talk to us. We’ve settled hundreds of children in, and we’ll talk you through exactly how we’d help yours.
How can I help my child Settle in?
Send a comforter from home
A familiar teddy, blanket, or muslin gives your child an anchor on the days they need one.
Talk about nursery positively
Mentioning their key person by name, or the toys and activities they like, helps nursery feel like a good place to be before they even arrive.
Keep goodbyes short and warm
A long, worried goodbye can make the moment feel bigger than it is. A quick cuddle, a clear “see you later”, and a confident exit usually works best, even when it feels counter-intuitive.
Tell us what makes your child tick
Their routines, their comforts, the foods they love, the things that soothe them. The more the key person knows, the sooner your child feels understood. We’ll ask you to fill in an “All About Me” before your child starts, and this is where it really earns its keep.
"What should I pack
for Nursery?"
A simple bag covers most days. Here’s what we’d suggest packing:
BACKPACK
A backpack or suitable bag for all of your child's belongings and items they may need for a full day of play is essential. Please label your child's bag.
SPARE CLOTHES
A couple of full changes of clothes are ideal for all age groups. We don't shy away from messy play. Please ensure all clothes are clearly labelled.
COMFORTER
A reminder from home during the first few weeks can provide children with additional reassurance. A soft toy, dummy, blanket, family photos, or other familiar items are often helpful.
WEATHER READY
Suncream and a sun hat are summer essentials. Meanwhile, a warm coat and wellington boots for winter are equally important. Please check the weather and dress your child appropriately for the day ahead.
BREASTMILK & FORMULA
Children will need to take their milk from a bottle when at nursery. Milk/formula must be provided in a container clearly labelled with your child's name. Kindly note, we cannot store breastmilk for more than 24 hours.
NAPPIES & WIPES
If your child is using nappies, please ensure you provide a healthy stock of these for them to be used - and please also provide plenty of wipes.
REASSURANCE FROM OUR FAMILIES
"What really stands out about this nursery is their unlimited settling-in sessions, which made a big difference for us."
– Neha, Mother (Shirley Green Day Nursery, Solihull)
SETTLING-IN:
Your Questions Answered
FAQs
How many settling-in sessions will my child have?
As many as they need. We don’t set a fixed number or a time limit. Some children are ready after two or three sessions; others take longer, and we let your child set the pace. The sessions build up gradually, always led by how settled your child feels.
Can I stay with my child during settling in?
Yes, especially at the start. The first visits are designed for you and your child to come in together. As your child grows more comfortable, they’ll stay for short spells without you, building up at a pace that suits them. You’re always welcome to talk to us about what feels right.
What if my child cries when I leave?
It’s normal, and it rarely lasts. Crying at drop-off is usually a sign your child is still learning that you always come back, not that they’re unhappy. For most children, the tears settle soon after you’ve gone. Your child’s key person will comfort them and let you know how they got on, so you’re not left wondering.
How long does it take to settle into nursery?
It varies from child to child. Some settle within a few visits; others take a few weeks. Age, temperament and whether they’ve been in childcare before all make a difference. We adapt to your child rather than working to a schedule, and we’ll keep you regularly updated on how it’s going.
What is a key person?
Your child’s key person is the familiar adult who takes special responsibility for their care, learning and well-being. They’re there from the very first settling-in visit; they get to know your child closely, and they’re your main point of contact. Having one consistent, familiar face is one of the biggest things that helps a child feel secure.
What should my child bring on their first day?
A bag with spare clothes, nappies and wipes if they’re needed, a comforter if they use one, and weather-appropriate extras like a sun hat or a warm coat. Label everything with your child’s name. Your nursery will let you know if anything is provided, so you don’t pack what you don’t need to.